It all started with a dream.... it went like this!.
In my dream a man came to me and asked if I’d like to be healed... I told him I already have the tools I need to heal, but thank you very much... I thought he just wanted to sell me something, to take my money...
I went about doing what I normally do but his image kept coming up in my mind.... I felt like he had the answers that I had to find and it drove me crazy not knowing... so I went back to him and asked if he could give me a sample of what he was offering.
We sat down on a soft blanket and he said “let’s play cards”... he dealt out a pile of cards and said “you start”. I looked at him with questions in my mind.... he gently smiled and said “oh yeah, you need some instructions”... He handed me a card with the instructions to the game. It was on a dark shiny card and it looked professionally made but there were parts of the instructions blocked out... like large squares and circles of black... I looked him in the face... he gently smiled and said “oh, yeah.... that’s your trauma, it’s blocking the important bits about how to play the game, let’s see how much you know and I’ll guide you along the way”. I placed a card down as he placed another and started to guide me through the instructions of how to play... the game became irrelevant as I watched and listened and learned, his calm easy voice explaining each step in the process.... I felt myself stepping away from the scene and watching as I participated in a game of mind, wits, humour and enjoyment.... there was no winning or losing, there was no failing or frustration, there was no time pressures or hurry. It was just a game of fun, discovery and learning.
I didn’t want to wake up from that game. I didn’t want to leave... I wanted to reach out and stay there in that place, that state forever... and as I woke I felt the strain of another day come into my mind.... I started thinking about my kids, my house, my animals, my work, all the things I had to do... lots and lots of ‘rules’, 'expectations' and ‘puzzles’. I, all of a sudden, felt desperate for that ‘one with the answers’, I started to weep and want to go back to sleep to find him... but when I closed my eyes he wasn’t there anymore... I started to think how I could find someone like that, someone who had my answers... I started to think frantically... who might have the answers, where can I look????... but the more frantic I got the more I questions and worry that arose.
I decided to wake up and as I did I had this realisation that that man WAS IN ME. That those rules and games and fun was just the way we learn through life’s experiences. That the man I longed for was all my friends, therapists, colleagues, coaches, and fellow sufferers/thrivers/survivers. That the answers lie in PLAYING THE GAME.... it’s the ‘DOing’ not the instruction sheet. It’s the advice and example of those positive calm people in your life... the ones that treat you gently, play kind games with you (not manipulative head games), it’s the fun, the enjoyment, the growth, curiosity, creativity. The kindness, the directing, the friendliness, the process, the asking and helping, the sharing, the trying and learning. It’s not the black and white punishment and reward, it’s the colours and perspectives of all those accumulative beautiful things that we can do to help each other.... love, nurture, encouragement, kindness, etc.
I’m grateful that I had that dream today. It’s a message I needed... do I believe it was ‘sent to me’?... not necessarily... but I do know I learned something from it and that I am grateful for it. For all my friends I have that are helping me in a gentle and patient way. Thank you. I really need you and I appreciate you.
Let’s keep playing.... who knows where the games will go...............
(if this post resonated with you and you've been searching for some answers.... please reach out to me.... I am a transformational life coach who might just be able to direct you in your "game of life"). email: kathryntd99@gmail.com or join me on facebook - https://www.facebook.com/kathryn.dawe.58/
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